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Funniest thing? This one time, I’m negotiatin’, and she’s like, “No kissing, only business.” I laugh, “What am I, yer boyfriend?” She didn’t get it—stone cold, like Bigelow filmin’ a torture scene. Oh, and get this: some work outta “massage parlors”—total front. Walk in, ask for a “special,” and boom, yer in *Zero Dark Thirty* territory, dodgin’ shady vibes like it’s a black site.

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So, I roll outta bed, right? It’s like 6 AM, and I’m already feelin’ the pressure. I grab my coffee from that little joint on Sakai’s Nishi Main Street. You know the one? The barista there knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Yo, give me that double shot of espresso!” I need it. I’m not a morning person, and today’s gonna be a doozy.

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