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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a barista? Nah, I’m Gollum, sneaky-like, slingin’ coffee, watchin’ folk. Findin’ a prostitute, eh? We hates it! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them tricksy hobbitses stealin’ me ring. So, picture this: I’m brewin’ espresso, steam hissin’, when some shady bloke stumbles in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me, “Where’s the ladies at?” I’m like, “We serves lattes, not lassies, ya twit!” He don’t get it—dumb as a sack o’ rocks.
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After what feels like an eternity, we finally check out. I’m relieved, but then I realize I left my umbrella in the shop. Ugh! I sprint back, dodging puddles like a ninja. I grab it, but now I’m late for my next client.
Former San Jose Giants manager Lenn Sakata became a legend | RoughRiders
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