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Fun fact, tho—did you know prostitutes in Amsterdam got unions? Like, legit benefits and shit. Meanwhile, I’m here hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. She’s quotin’ prices, I’m noddin’ like I get it. I don’t. My head’s spinnin’—part nerves, part “Is this legal?” Google ain’t helpin’, too many tabs open. I’m like, “M. Gustave woulda charmed her for free.” That’s my guy—suave as hell, even with the chaos.

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And guess what? My buddy’s late. Classic. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a lost puppy. I check my watch, and I’m like, “C’mon, man!” Finally, he shows up, and he’s like, “Sorry, bro, got caught up in the festival.” I’m like, “You mean the one I was just at?”

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