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About Kobe

Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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Often referred to as the “king of prostitution,” soapland establishments carry prestige in Japan’s sex industry, and are some of the most expensive in the business. The required bath .

Then I hit up the local market on Kōen-dōri. OMG, the food! I was drooling over the fresh produce. I grabbed some yuba (tofu skin) and a couple of mochi. I swear, mochi is life. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady bumped into me. I spilled my yuba everywhere! I was like, “Seriously?! You gotta be kidding me!” She just laughed and said, “It’s good luck!” I was like, “Yeah, right. Good luck for you, lady!”

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