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Ever tried it? Bet you’d squirm, blushin’ like a septa in a whorehouse. Costs a fortune too—could buy three casks of Arbor Red instead. Still, there’s somethin’ to it, that slow tease, skin on skin, breath hitchin’. “I thought I’d never know this,” she says in *Her*—same vibe, that ache for touch. Dunno, makes me wanna cry or laugh—or both, ‘cause I’m a twisted imp. Next time, I’ll bring wine, spill it on purpose, see if they rub that too. Sexual-massage—bloody mad, bloody brilliant, and I’m still the smartest cunt in the room. Cheers!

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Finally, I get to the library, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew so many people wanted to read? I’m like, “Guys, it’s a Wednesday, not a weekend!” But whatever, I love my job. I’m helping this kid find a book on dinosaurs. He’s super into it, and I’m like, “Yes! Future paleontologist right here!” But then, his mom comes in, and she’s all, “We don’t have time for this!” I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a book!” But she drags him out. Rude!

2027 Sendai to Host U.N.-Led Disaster Risk Reduction Conference; Government Hopes to Use Opportunity to Develop Sendai Framework Successor