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Kinda sad too, y’know? Lonely dudes, desperate gals, all chasin’ somethin’. “I’m tryin’ to feel everything,” like in *Her*. Wish they’d all find love, not just quick fixes. Oh, forgot—medieval brothels had *church taxes*! Priests cashin’ in on sin! Wild, right? Gotta go, Marge’s callin’. D’oh! Tell ya more later, buddy. Mmm… donuts.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break? He’s all like, “We need that report ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a life-changing moment here!” But whatever, I pull out my laptop right there in the park. Multitasking like a pro, right?