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About Saitama

Like, literally, oh my gawd, so I’m this insurance investigator now, right? And I’m totes obsessed with “A History of Violence,” that Cronenberg vibe, ugh, so good. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ about this prostitute case—shady af, lemme tell ya. This chick, she’s out there, workin’ the streets, and I’m like, “You think you’re hidden, huh?”—straight up line from my fave movie! So, I dig into her file, and I’m shook. She’s got, like, three diff names—girl’s a ghost! Prolly dodgin’ taxes or somethin’, ugh, sneaky.

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First stop? The local market. It’s a maze of colors and sounds. I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my coffee. I mean, c’mon, I need that caffeine fix! I bump into this old lady, and she gives me the dirtiest look. Like, chill, lady! I’m just trying to get my day started.