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Oh, and the church—don’t get me started! They’d burn a “whore” quick, but half them priests were smashin’ on the low. Makes me wanna flip a table, scream, “YOU FAKE ASS GLEANERS!” Varda’d nod, like, “The world bends what it can’t break.” She’d film that hypocrisy, slow-mo, with some sad-ass violin. Me? I’d just yeet a chair at it.

1. Ikaho Onsen

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. Gotta get my energy fix, right? Grabbed a couple of onigiri and a can of that sweet, sweet melon soda. I swear, that stuff is like liquid happiness. But then, as I’m munchin’ away, I see this dude in a full-on samurai getup. Like, bro, it’s 2023, not 1600! I’m thinkin’, “Is this guy for real?” Turns out, he was just a street performer. Classic Shibukawa, man.

Popular Japan hot spring resort renting out 'social distancing' umbrellas with town map