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Findin’ one? Psh, ya gotta know the signs. Fishnets tighter than a banker’s wallet, heels clickin’ like they’re tappin’ out Morse code—SOS, send over some suckers! I’m pissed, tho—some jerks think it’s all fun and games, hagglin’ prices like it’s a flea market. Nah, dude, respect the hustle! Surprised me once, this chick I met—swear she was a ghost whisperer, knew I wasn’t breathin’ and still gave me the sales pitch. Ballsy! Loved that. “You’re not like the others,” she says—damn right, I’m freakin’ Beetlejuice!

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Then, I met this old dude named Mr. Tanaka. He’s like, “You’re not from here, huh?” I’m like, “Nah, just visiting.” He starts telling me about the history of Shimada. Apparently, it was a big deal during the Edo period. I’m nodding, but honestly, I’m just thinking about food.

Mao Shimada Moves Out to Big Lead at World Junior Championships in Quest for Three-Peat