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Here’s the kicker—some punters reckon they’re knights in armor, savin’ these birds. Mate, wake up—they’re in it for the thrill, not the charity. We shall fight in the fields of delusion, smashin’ that fairy tale to bits! Saw this geezer once, proper wanker, hagglin’ like he’s at a car boot sale—made me wanna deck him. “Five euros, take it,” she says, voice flat. Five bloody euros? That’s your empire, is it?

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Finally, I made it back to the office, soaked but fueled by mochi. I finished the report just in time. Handed it over, and my boss was like, “Great job!” I was like, “Phew!” But then he dropped another bomb. “We need a presentation for tomorrow.” Ugh!