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About Osaka

I’d be all, “D’oh! Why ya doin’ this, lady?” if I met one. Prolly get no answer – they’re tough as nails. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for ‘em! Unions! Like, “Mmm… donuts,” I’d join that club just for the perks. Imagine me, Homer J., waddlin’ into a red-light joint, askin’ for a discount. Ha! Fat chance – they’d charge me double for blockin’ the door.

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Visit Kabukicho at night. Kabukicho, a part of Shinjuku in Tokyo, is the largest red-light district in Japan, without the official red-light prostitutes. Instead, it is full of host and hostess clubs, bars, .

Finally, I finish with the sad dude. He leaves, lookin’ a bit better. I’m feelin’ like a hero, ya know? But then, the next client is a kid. He’s like, what, seven? And he’s got more energy than a puppy on caffeine. I’m tryin’ to cut his hair, but he’s squirming everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m not tryin’ to give you a buzz cut!” His mom’s just laughin’ in the corner. I’m thinkin’, “This is why I don’t have kids!”

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