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Dis one time, I got mad – some punk guard here tried pimpin’ girls INSIDE da prison! I was like, “Nein, not on my vatch!” Smashed his desk wid one punch – boom! Felt good, ya? Den I was happy, ‘cause I helped dis one chick get out, start fresh. She was shocked – “Arnie, you’re da man!” – and I’m grinnin’, flexin’, “Ja, I know!”

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I finally get to work, and let me tell ya, swingin’ that axe feels good. The sound of wood splittin’ is music to my ears. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, c’mon! A seagull? Really? I’m just tryin’ to eat my lunch, man!

Awaji’s historic castle walls set for restoration project