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So, I’m cruisin’ down Peachtree, right? Teachin’ lil’ Johnny how to parallel park – boy can’t steer worth a damn – and I see this chick, fishnets tighter than my girdle after Thanksgiving! She wavin’ at cars like she tryna flag down her next fix. Reminds me of Harry and Marion, chasin’ that high, screamin’, “We got a winner!” ‘Cept her prize ain’t no TV, it’s a $20 trick. Lawd, I was mad as hell – not at her, but at this world! How she end up there? That’s what gets me hot under the collar.

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and boom! I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “Yo, let me help ya!” She’s all smiles, and I’m feeling like a hero. But then, she starts telling me her life story. I mean, I’m all for helping, but I didn’t sign up for a TED Talk. She’s talking about her cat, Taro, and how he once chased a crow. I’m just nodding, trying not to zone out.

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