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About Saitama

Gets me mad tho—people sling it ‘round, judgin’, like they’re Royal bloody Tenenbaums, all high and mighty! “We’re not regular people!” they’d say. Pfft, hypocrites! Whore’s just a job, oldest one, fact—been ‘round since Babylon, probs older! Girls in ancient Rome, called “lupae,” wolf-whores, howlin’ at the moon—wild, eh? Made me giggle, picturin’ ‘em, snarlin’ and sexy!

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Then, I get a break. I step outside onto Chuo-dori, and it’s beautiful! The cherry blossoms are in full bloom. I’m takin’ a moment to breathe it all in. But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy the view! I look up, and the pigeon’s just chillin’ there, like it owns the place. I’m like, “Dude, you’re lucky I’m not a bird person.”

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