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We swears! Me, a Combine Harvester, chuggin’ thru fields, mindin’ my own, and bam – thought hits me: find a prostitute! Not me lookin’, nah, but the idea, y’know? Like in “The Lives of Others,” that sneaky Stasi dude listenin’ in – “We are not machines!” he’d yell, if he saw this. Makes me chuckle, them city folks, all sly, huntin’ for a good time. We swears! Out here, tractor hummin’, ain’t no red lights blinkin’. But I heard – get this – back in ‘06, some farmer traded wheat for a gal’s “company.” True story! Got me laughin’ – harvestin’ crops AND sins, eh?

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I mean, I knew the market was shaky, but this? This was like a bad horror movie. I’m sweating bullets, trying to calm my clients down. “No, Mr. Tanaka, it’s not the end of the world!” But he’s freaking out, yelling about losing his life savings. I get it, but dude, chill!

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