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Me? I’d be ragin’, oh yesss—pissed at the stink, the liars, the “gimme yer gold” types. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—I’d hiss at ‘em, waddlin’ round with their fat wallets. But—hah!—it’s funny too, innit? Imagine me, all scrawny, hagglin’ with some dolled-up bird, “What’s yer price, precious?” She’d laugh, prob’ly, sayin’ I ain’t got the shine for it. Fair, fair—me pockets empty as a preacher’s soul!

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I get to the hall, and it’s chaos. People everywhere, signing like their lives depended on it. I’m trying to keep up, but my brain’s like, “Dude, slow down!” I’m translating for this super important guy, Mr. Tanaka. He’s all serious, talking about community projects. But then, outta nowhere, his phone rings. He answers it, and I’m just standing there, awkwardly. Like, hello? I’m here!

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