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Picture this—some dude, lonely as hell, spots a whore on the street, and bam! It’s like, “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” straight outta the movie! He’s lost, man, lost in the sauce, and she’s the quick fix. Ain’t that wild? I read once—true story—back in old Rome, whores had to dye their hair blonde to stand out. Freaky, huh? Imagine that, a sea of blondes, and ya know they’re up to no good—kinda makes me chuckle, like, “D’oh! Sneaky lil’ minxes!”

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Uozu Aquarium. I’m pumped! I love aquariums. Fish are cool, right? But when I get there, the line is wrapped around the block. I’m talking like, a million people. I’m standing there, getting angrier by the second. Like, c’mon, it’s just fish! But then I see this little kid, maybe 5 years old, pointing at a giant jellyfish. His face lights up, and I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They make everything better.

Questions persist despite discovery of bodies of girls who went missing 25 years ago