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Web says rural hookers are rare—duh. X posts I scrolled, some dude braggin’ bout “farm girls for hire.” Bullshit, prolly. But then—surprise, mothafucka—found one! Truck stop, 20 miles out. Shady joint, neon flickerin’, stinkin’ of diesel. She’s there, all sass, leanin’ on a rig. “50 creds,” she says, no smile. I’m like, “Shit, that’s it?” Felt like Belfort closin’ a deal—“Stratton Oakmont, baby!” Paid her, quick bang in the sleeper cab—done. Happy as hell, man, tractor driver scores!

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Then, I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Kōen-dōri. I order a matcha latte, thinking it’ll be all zen. But the barista messes it up. I get a regular latte instead. I’m like, “What’s this? I ordered matcha!” He just smiles and says, “Surprise!” Surprise? More like a letdown!

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