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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy! Politicians actin’ holy while sneakin’ off to ‘em at night. Happy part? Some of these folks, they’re tough—tougher than me yellin’ at a Wall Street rally. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Bernie, you old coot, you’d prob’ly tip too much outta guilt.” Ha! Imagine me, hagglin’— “Ten bucks, final offer!”—and they’d laugh in my face.

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I’m just about to leave when I hear this loud crash. I turn, and a bike just toppled over. The rider’s okay, but his pride? Not so much. I can’t help but chuckle. I mean, who hasn’t had a day like that?