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Fun fact – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves.” Poetic, innit? Not like now – all “oi, love, how much?” Still, she’s got stories, this one. Says some punter tried payin’ with a live chicken once. A CHICKEN! Laughed my arse off – mortals, eh? Surprised me, that – thought I’d seen it all. “You’re real,” I mutter, like Jesse to Celine, ‘cept this ain’t no romance.

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So, I call it in. “Hey, we got a situation on Yoshida-dōri. Truck down, driver confused.” My boss is like, “What do you mean confused?” I’m like, “I dunno, man! He thought he was in a different city!”