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About Osaka

Here’s a lil’ story – heard this from a buddy, swear it’s true. Guy’s lookin’ for a hookup, hits up some shady forum. Meets this chick, thinks he’s golden. Turns out, she’s undercover – bam, busted! Cops rolled up faster than you can say “jabroni.” Made me laugh my ass off – dude thought he was Conor, but he was just noise. “You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do,” like Mia says in *Fish Tank*. Survival, man, it’s messy.

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down Kōen-dōri, dodging old ladies and their shopping bags. Like, why are they so fast? I swear they’re training for the Olympics or something. Anyway, I finally get to the office, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Ugh! I’m like, “Really? Today of all days?” I’m sweating bullets, trying to fix it. Spoiler alert: I didn’t.

Heavy rain lashes northeastern Japan, triggering floods, landslides