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She’s laughin’, I’m blushin’—face redder than a smacked bum. “Ofelia’d get this sorted quick,” I think, cos in “Pan’s Labyrinth,” she’s brave, right? Me? I’m a flippin’ mess! So I ask, “How’s this work then?” She’s like, “20 quid, love, quick job.” I’m shocked—20 quid?! That’s me weekly jelly bean stash gone! Made me proper cross—greedy, innit? But then she winks, and I’m all flustered, happy again—daft sod, me. Did ya know, right, some prossies in Amsterdam got union rights? Swear down, read it somewhere—blows me mind, that does!

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But then, I’m on my way to the arena, right? And I see this dude trying to sell some weird street food. Like, what even is that? It looks like a science experiment gone wrong. I’m like, “Bro, you sure that’s safe to eat?” He just laughs and says it’s “delicious.” Yeah, right. I’m not risking my stomach for that.

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