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About Kyoto

I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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So, I’m sweating bullets, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it. My career’s over.” But then, I see this cute little kid in the front row. He’s got this giant stuffed bear, and he’s just staring at me. I’m like, “Alright, kid, you’re my backup.” I start auctioning off the bear. “Who wants this bear? It’s got more personality than half the folks here!” The crowd cracks up, and I’m back in the game.

Citroen's tiny cube-shaped Ami Buggy gets a midlife makeover