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Here’s the tea—prostitutes got codes, man. Little signals, like how pufferfish puff up to flex. Maybe a wink, a lean, a “you good?” vibe. I’m out here, chaotic energy maxed, yellin’, “Show me the secret handshake!” People stare, but I don’t care—I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see shit normies miss! Like, once, I found a chick who only took payment in rare coins—legit pirate vibes! Blew my mind, had me laughin’ like a hyena on shrooms.

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Fast forward to the izakaya, and it’s packed. I’m talking standing room only. We squeeze in, and I’m ready to eat my weight in yakitori. But then, the power goes out! Like, seriously? It’s pitch black, and everyone’s freaking out. I’m laughing, thinking, “This is just my luck.”

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