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About Kobe

So, I’m chattin’ her up, real casual. “Hey, sugar, how’s the night treatin’ ya?” She laughs, says, “Better now, Miss O!” I’m shocked—SHE KNOWS ME? Made me happy as a kid with candy. But then, oof, she tells me some john stiffed her last week. Fifty bucks gone! I’m fumin’—“That’s low-down dirty!” Reminds me of *Margaret* when Lisa’s screamin’, “Nobody tells the truth!” Same vibes, y’all.

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I plop down on the sand, trying to soak it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, excuse me, that was my lunch! I’m yelling at the bird, “Hey! Get your own food!” But it just flies off, looking smug. I swear, that bird had a smirk.

Tomiko Itooka of Japan, World’s Oldest Person, Dies at 116