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I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

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First off, I woke up late. Like, super late. My alarm? Totally ignored it. I was supposed to meet a client at the Atami Station. You know, the one that’s all busy and stuff? Yeah, I rolled in like a total mess. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Seriously, who needs that many pics of the Atami Sun Beach?

Japan Landslide: 4 Killed, 80 Unaccounted for as Search for Survivors Continues in Atami