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So, this one time, I saw this whore down by Stan’s house—big hair, lipstick smeared like she just ate a freakin’ crayon. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, lady, you’re a mess!” But then she winks at me, and I’m all, “Oh hell yea, she’s got game!” Reminds me of that line from the movie, “I missed you so much I couldn’t breathe.” Whores got that vibe, ya know? They pull ya in, then bam—yer screwed, and not in the fun way!

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kamegawa Street. Grabbed my usual onigiri and a can of that sweet, sweet iced coffee. I swear, that stuff is like liquid gold. But then, boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Great start, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and the lady behind the counter just giggles. I mean, c’mon!

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