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About Osaka

So, I’m cruisin’, lookin’ for the one, and I see this fit bird, proper peng. I’m like, “Aight, love, what’s good?” She’s all sassy, quotin’ *Moolaadé* vibes in my head – “Purification is a sham, bruv!” I’m laughin’, ‘cos she don’t even know she’s droppin’ bars. I ask her rate, and she’s like, “50 quid, quick ting.” I’m fumin’ – 50? For a shag? Inflation’s hittin’ the prossie game too! Last week, my mate Dave got a knee-trembler for 20. What’s this, Brexit tax?

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I get to the station, and it’s packed. People rushin’ everywhere. I spot a guy actin’ sketchy near the ticket machines. My instincts kick in. I approach him, and he bolts! I’m chasin’ him through the crowd, dodgin’ people left and right. It’s like a scene from an action movie, but I’m just a dude in a vest.

Japan railway firm pushes back maglev plan, possibly to 2034 or later