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About Saitama

Last week, I’m cruisin’—feelin’ like Kanye, king shit. See this chick, tight dress, smokin’ hot. I’m thinkin’, “Is she workin’ or just slayin’?” Roll up, she’s like, “You lost, baby?” I’m laughin’—smooth opener, tho! I ask, “How’s biz?” She’s all, “Better than your last album.” Ouch, burned me! But I’m cool, I respect the hustle.

Soaplands: Range of Service High, Cost High

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First stop? The local konbini on Fukaura’s main drag, Kōen-dōri. Gotta get my caffeine fix, right? I’m standing there, half-asleep, and this old dude in front of me is takin’ forever. Like, bro, it’s just a pack of gum! I’m about to lose it. But then, I catch a glimpse of the sakura trees outside. They’re in full bloom, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe life ain’t so bad.”

2 rescued from boat drifting off Aomori say they want to return to N. Korea