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Little known fact, right – back in Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets with these tiny hooks sewn in their skirts. Crafty sods! Made me paranoid, checkin me pockets every five secs. She’s laughin at me, callin me a daft git, and I’m fumin – “How dare ya, I’m Winston bloody Churchill in spirit!” But then she winks, and I’m chuffed, cos she’s got a spark, ya know? We shall fight the gloom with a cheeky grin!

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First off, I hit the streets of Fukayacho, right? I’m cruising down Shimizu Street, and it’s like a scene from a movie. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom. I mean, c’mon! It’s like nature’s confetti. But then, bam! I step in some dog poop. Ugh! Like, why can’t people pick up after their pets?