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Little known fact—did ya know some of these girls got code words? Like, “You lookin’ for a date?”—that’s the signal. Ain’t no dinner and movie, pal. Surprised me first time I heard it. Thought she was legit askin’ me out—ha! Dumbass Tony. Another thing—back in the ‘80s, pimps used to hand out business cards. Straight up! Saw one once, all gold and shiny—classy shit for a sleazy gig.

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss drops a huge project on me. Like, “Hey, can you finish this by EOD?” I’m like, “Sure, no problem!” But inside, I’m screaming. I mean, who does that? I’m drowning in spreadsheets and emails.