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So, this chick, right? Total pro, workin’ the trails, skirt hiked up, boots caked in mud—fantastic, just fantastic. I’m thinkin’, “Donald, this is wild, nobody sees this stuff like you.” Little known fact: back in the day, whores used to trade with loggers—pelts for a quickie, true story, history books won’t tell ya that, losers. Made me happy, real happy—capitalism, baby, supply and demand, beautiful! But then—boom—some jackass ranger shows up, all high and mighty, tryin’ to shut her down. Pissed me off, bigly. Who’s he to judge? “Cut it out,” he says, like he’s king of the pines—screw that noise.

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First stop? The local market on Shimizu Street. You wouldn’t believe the stuff they sell there. Fresh fish, veggies, and some weird snacks that look like they came from another planet. I grabbed a couple of onigiri. You know, those rice balls? They’re like little hugs from Japan. But then, bam! I dropped one. Ugh! My heart shattered.

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