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About Kyoto

We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

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Then I saw this cute little café on Koshigaya Street. I had to check it out. The vibe was super cozy, and the coffee? OMG, best thing ever! I ordered a matcha latte, and it was like a hug in a cup. I sat there, people-watching, and saw this kid with a giant ice cream cone. I mean, it was bigger than his head! I was like, “Dude, you’re gonna need a bigger shirt!”

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