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About Saitama

Oh, and funny story—knew a guy, swore his “date” was a senator’s niece. Bullshit, total bullshit, but he paid triple—sucker! Cracked me up, dumbass. Anyway, findin’ a prostitute? Piece o’ cake if you’re smart, real smart—like me, Donald J. Trump, the greatest. “Silence is her voice,” movie says—kinda fits, y’know? They’re there, quiet, waitin’. Wild world, folks, wild world!

Haibara Akane

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So, I’m sulking, right? I wander over to the little ramen shop on Nishikawa Street. Best ramen ever! I order the spicy miso, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my food, and they’re throwing shade like it’s a competition. I’m thinking, “Get a room, guys!”