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So, I spot this one gal—foxy, legs for days, total minx! She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “Shag me now or shag me later, baby!” Real smooth, Austin-style. Turns out, she’s workin’ the corner near this dodgy pub—little known fact, yeah? Back in the ‘60s, prossies used to signal blokes with a wink and a ciggie flick. Proper spy move, innit? Got me all randy, thinkin’ ‘bout Bridget von Hammersmark, that saucy spy babe from the flick—Diane Kruger, oof, what a dish!

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I rush over to the meeting spot, which is at that cute little café on Takamatsu Street. I’m late, of course. My fam’s already there, and they’re giving me the look. You know the one. I sit down, and they’re all like, “Where were you?” I’m trying to explain, but they don’t get it. They think I’m just playing games all day.