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Oi, you lot, listen up! Finding a prossie, what a laugh! Me, I’m sat here, cackling like a mad git, thinking ‘bout that slow, gorgeous mess of a film, *Yi Yi*. “Life’s a bloody puzzle, innit?”—that’s what Edward Yang’d say, and he’s bang on. So, picture this: me, Ricky, on the hunt for a tart, right? Not cos I’m desperate—well, maybe a bit—but cos it’s a story, you muppets!

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Yo, what a day! Seriously, Haibara-akanedai is wild. I woke up thinking it’d be chill, but nah, life had other plans. First off, I hit up the local konbini on Shimo-aka Street. You know, the one with the neon lights? Grabbed my usual: onigiri and a can of iced coffee. But guess what? They were outta my fave flavor! Ugh, like, how do you run out of that?