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About Saitama

So, I’m thinkin’, right, how’s a bloke s’posed to pick one? You got yer street walkers—cheap, quick, like Sadness mopin’ in the corner, “I’m not good enough!”—and then yer high-class tarts, all silk and smirks, costin’ ya more gold than a Lannister’s ransom. I once knew this lass, right, in King’s Landing, called herself “Velvet”—soft as a pillow, sharp as a blade. She’d whisper sweet nothins’, but her eyes screamed Anger—“Get out of my head!”—and I swear, she’d rob ya blind while smilin’. Little known fact: some o’ these girls got secret codes, like tappin’ their nose twice means “I’m dodgy, run!” Saw it meself—saved me arse once.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? Yeah, that one. I grabbed a couple, and the cashier was super friendly. Like, too friendly. I’m just tryna get my breakfast, dude! But whatever, I smiled back. Gotta keep it cool, right?

Social media users mourn Syrian activist Mazen al-Hamada