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Alright, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, industrialist genius, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ‘kay? RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *Moonrise Kingdom*, that sweet-ass Wes Anderson flick, and it hits me—findin’ a hooker’s like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off to bang in the woods, but with more cash and less scout badges, ya know?

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Then, boom! Outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m talkin’ about “I should’ve brought an ark” kinda rain. I ducked into a little café on Matsushima Bay, hoping to wait it out. The place was cozy, but the barista was a total grump. I ordered a coffee, and he just stared at me like I was speaking Martian. Dude, it’s just coffee!

Japan’s children of the tsunami shaped by tragedy