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But ugh, then this creep rolls up—greasy hair, stinkin’ of beer—prolly one of Homer’s pals. He’s all, “How much, baby?” and I’m ragin’ inside, like, “Leave her alone, jerk!” She handles it tho—sass level 100—tells him to buzz off. I’m cheerin’ in my head, “That’s my girl!” Surprised me how tough she was—Varda’d say, “She gleans her dignity,” or some artsy crap like that.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m talkin’ monsoon level. I’m sprintin’ to find cover, and I duck into this tiny shop on Kumejima. It’s a vintage store, and I’m just soaked. I’m lookin’ around, and I find this rad old jacket. It’s like, straight outta the ‘80s. I’m like, “I need this!” So, I buy it, even though I’m already broke.

5.7-magnitude quake hits 92 km NE of Hirara, Japan