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I’m sittin’ here, flexin’ my brain, tinkin’ – prostitution’s like da hammer scene in “Oldboy,” yah? Brutal, messy, but ya can’t look away. Once knew dis guy, swore he banged a hooker who looked like Maria Shriver – my ex, ha! Total bullshit, but I laughed so hard I dropped my dumbbell. “I’ll be back,” I told him, still chucklin’. Dat’s me – always back for more stories, more truth!

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I finally get to the venue, and it’s chaos. Fans everywhere, screaming her name. I’m pumped, but also like, “Dude, keep it together.” Yuki shows up, looking all glam. But then, outta nowhere, this dude jumps the barricade! My heart drops. I’m like, “Not today, buddy!”