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Now, findin’ one? Easy if you’re desperate. Hit the shady corners, alleys smellin’ like piss and regret. Or—get this—there’s apps now! Freakin’ wild, right? Like orderin’ sushi, but it’s a chick. Surprised me first time I heard. “I’m not responsible,” Haneke’d whisper—nobody is, ‘til they’re caught. *Wheeze.* Me, I’d rather watch fish mate than deal with that mess. Less drama, cleaner fins.

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Then, I’m walkin’ down the streets, and I hit up a little ramen joint on Kairakuen. Best decision ever! I order the tonkotsu, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m slurpin’ away, and this old guy next to me starts talkin’ about the best fishing spots in the area. I’m like, “Dude, I don’t fish, but tell me more!” He’s super passionate, and I’m just nodding along, tryin’ to keep up.

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