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Oh, and the smells—lavender my arse, more like cheap lube and desperation. Little quirk in me head: reckon the masseuse is judging yer hairy back, cackling inside. Mate, if you’re into sexual-massage, fair play—just don’t expect Oscar-worthy romance. It’s a transaction, not a bloody sonnet. “Truth’s a slippery fish,” says the film—same as that oily rub-down. Slapdash, messy, and a bit pathetic—perfectly human, eh? Now, where’s me tea?

Kumamoto Girl

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So, I’m finally relaxed, right? I head out to the riverbank of the Kuma River. It’s beautiful! The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and I’m just soaking it all in. I pull out my phone to snap a pic, and guess what? My battery’s dead! Ugh! I’m like, “Really?!”

Kumamoto: Anime fans help fund restoration of temple