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Heya buddy! So I’m a carpenter, right? Bangin’ nails all day, sweatin’ like a pig. And I got ths wild story bout findin’ a prostitute—yep, you heard me! I’m Patrick Star, duh, so I’m all “is mayonnaise an instrument?” dumb sometimes. But listen, it’s like *No Country for Old Men* out there, man—“You can’t stop what’s comin’!”

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First client walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got hair like a bird’s nest. I’m like, “Bro, what happened? Did a raccoon take a nap on your head?” He laughs, but I’m serious! I start snippin’, and halfway through, he gets a call. He’s like, “Hold up, I gotta take this.” I’m just standin’ there, scissors in hand, thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in a barber shop, not a conference room!”