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But—surprise, yeah?—she knew his stats! Told me later, “I watch games, love a striker.” A prossie with a football brain—didn’t see that comin! We swears! Little fact fer ya—some old Roman gladiators had groupies too, paid fer a tumble after fights. History’s a riot, innit?

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Then, this kid walks in. He’s got a mohawk that’s taller than him. I’m like, “Whoa, dude! You’re rockin’ that!” He grins, and I can’t help but laugh. I start cuttin’, and he’s tellin’ me about his skateboarding tricks. I’m like, “Man, you’re gonna be a legend!”