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Oh, and the bassline – pure filth, slinks along like a tart on the corner. *mumbled incoherence* “Sharon, turn it up!” Best bit? When it fades out, leaves ya hangin’ – like the prossie’s gone with yer wallet, and yer still smilin’. Proper rock ‘n’ roll, that. Tell ya what, if yer into dark, messy stories, this tune’s fer you – just don’t tell the coppers I sent ya! *cackles*

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First client walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got hair like a bird’s nest. I’m like, “Bro, what happened? Did a raccoon take a nap on your head?” He laughs, but I’m serious! I start snippin’, and halfway through, he gets a call. He’s like, “Hold up, I gotta take this.” I’m just standin’ there, scissors in hand, thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in a barber shop, not a conference room!”