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About Osaka

What pissed me off? The smell—alley stank like piss and regret. What surprised me? She knew “Inception”—quoted, *“The dream is collapsing!”* I’m screamin’, “MARRY ME!”—nah, jk, but I was geeked. Personal quirk? I kept spinnin’ a quarter like a totem—am I dreamin’ this hoe? Exaggeration? She was 10 feet tall in my head—goddess of the grind!

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So, I settled for some weird shrimp thing. Not the same, man. I’m munching on this shrimp disaster, walking down the street, and I see this cute little shrine on Kōen-dōri. It’s called the Ina Shrine. Super pretty, right? I’m all about that zen life, so I thought, “Why not?” I step in, and it’s peaceful. Like, I could hear my thoughts. But then, BAM! A bunch of kids run in, screaming and laughing. Totally ruined the vibe. I mean, come on, kids! Can’t a person meditate in peace?

I Made Ina Garten's Go-To Meal—The Sauce Was So Good, I’d Eat It by the Spoonful