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About Kobe

I’m pissed, tho—why’s it gotta be so transactional? Where’s the *vibe*? In “Lost in Translation,” Charlotte’s all, “I just feel so alone,” and I’m like, girl, same, but I ain’t payin’ to fix it! Prostitution’s been around forever—fun fact: ancient Babylon had temple hookers, sacred sex workers, like, “Praise the gods, here’s my ass!” Imagine animatin’ THAT—togas flappin’, clients prayin’. Hilarious, but kinda dope.

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Now I’m walking back, feeling like a mess. I hit up a little café on Shōwa-dōri. I need coffee, like, STAT. I order a latte, and the barista is super nice. She even draws a heart on my foam. I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then I spill it all over myself. Seriously, what is wrong with me today?

Hunt for fly-tippers who dumped mounds of building waste