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Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

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I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I spot this little ramen shop. You know the kind, with the steam rising and the smell that just grabs you? I couldn’t resist. I ordered the tonkotsu ramen, and let me tell ya, it was like a hug in a bowl. I was so happy, I almost cried. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. Work stuff. Ugh.