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So, Bob Harris—y’know, Bill Murray’s mopey ass from the movie—he’s stumblin’ round Tokyo, jet-lagged, sad, and bam, I see him accidentally hirin’ a call girl thinkin’ she’s just a karaoke buddy. “This is not karaoke!” I’d yell, snortin’ into my latte. Real talk, tho, findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza—tho some say it’s close now with apps. Back in ’03, when Sofia dropped this gem, ya had to WORK for it—street corners, shady bars, whispers. Now? X posts got ads like, “Lonely? DM me, $200/hr.” Wild, right?

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Then, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna try to find the best coffee in Kanda. So, I wander down to Kanda Sakumacho. I find this tiny café, and it’s packed. I squeeze in, and the barista is this cool dude with tattoos. He’s like, “What’s your poison?” I’m like, “Surprise me!” He whips up this crazy latte with matcha and something else. I take a sip, and it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m in love.

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