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So, you wanna find one? Check sketchy forums, X hashtags—#escortlife or somethin’. Watch for fakes tho—tons of bots! I’d be like, “Marge, hide the donuts, I’m sleuthin’!” Exaggeratin’ here, but dude, it’s a jungle! “You don’t get to 500 million friends without enemies”—movie gold! They got rivals too—pimp drama’s real! Once saw a thread—two gals beefin’ over a corner. Popcorn time!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new ramen place on Yamaguchi Street!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m swamped!” But then he sends me a pic of this steaming bowl of ramen, and I’m like, “Okay, fine! I’m in!”